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    10 Smoothies for Weight Loss and Immunity

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    Smoothies for weight loss and immunity are honestly the only reason I’m not currently wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband in every single photo from 2025, and yeah I’m aware that’s a low bar but here we are. Smoothies for Weight Loss

    It’s like 8:47 p.m. in Nashville right now, I’m sitting cross-legged on my kitchen floor because the barstool is covered in mail I keep meaning to open, and my blender is making that death-rattle noise again because I definitely didn’t rinse it properly last time. Whatever. The Takis dust on my fingers is basically orange glitter at this point. Anyway. Smoothies for Weight Loss https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/turmeric-and-black-pepper

    I started these smoothies for weight loss and immunity back in January after I tried to put on my favorite jeans and they literally fought me. Like, full-on wrestling match in my bedroom. I won, but it cost me my dignity and one belt loop. So yeah, that’s when I decided maybe chugging green stuff every morning could fix me. Smoothies for Weight Loss

    Tight jeans struggle while clutching green smoothie
    Tight jeans struggle while clutching green smoothie

    Why These Smoothies for Weight Loss and Immunity Actually Kinda Saved My Life don’t @ me Smoothies for Weight Loss

    I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m some wellness guru, I still ate half a Domino’s pizza last Thursday because my ex texted “hey” and apparently I’m still 17 inside. But these smoothies? They’re the one healthy thing my chaotic brain can actually remember to do.

    My Messy Top 10 Smoothies for Weight Loss and Immunity That I Swear By results may vary, batteries not included Smoothies for Weight Loss

    1. The One That Tastes Like Dessert But Isn’t Frozen zucchini (don’t knock it), cacao powder, peanut butter powder, almond milk, spinach I pretend isn’t there. Tastes like a milkshake, lies to your body. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6261201/
    2. Beet Berry Situation (yes your pee will be pink, no I won’t warn you again) Roasted beets when I’m feeling fancy, usually just the powder because washing dishes is pain, berries, greek yogurt, ginger that I sometimes overdo and regret immediately.
    3. Golden Glow Thingy Turmeric, pineapple, mango, black pepper because apparently turmeric is useless without it?? Science is rude. Anyway my skin stopped looking like printer paper.
    4. Coffee One So I Don’t Murder Anyone Before 10 a.m. Cold brew, banana, protein powder, oat milk, cinnamon. Basically Starbucks but I’m not crying in the Target parking lot spending $9.
    5. Kale Apple Whatever Kale, green apple, cucumber, lemon, sometimes celery when I hate myself extra. Cheap as hell and makes me feel temporarily superior.
    6. Cherry Sleepy Time One Tart cherry juice, almond butter, flax milk, spinach. I actually sleep now?? Wild.
    7. Orange Carrot Ginger Kick Carrots, orange, ginger that I definitely grated too much of last time and my mouth was on fire for 20 minutes. 10/10 would burn again.
    8. Avocado Chocolate Mood Stabilizer Half an avocado I found before it went bad (miracle), dates, cacao, almond milk. Therapy in a glass but cheaper.
    9. Pineapple Spinach Basic Bitch Pineapple, spinach, coconut water, protein. Tastes like vacation, works like responsibility.
    10. The “Fridge is Empty” Desperation Special Whatever greens are turning into soup in the drawer, frozen berries from the ice age, water, prayers. Still counts. Smoothies for Weight Loss https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5707683/
    Cracked blender leaking green sludge, chipped black nails
    Cracked blender leaking green sludge, chipped black nails

    Real Talk About Smoothies for Weight Loss and Immunity That Nobody Says Out Loud

    Sometimes I forget to add liquid and it turns into hummus. Sometimes the blender explodes and I just stand there covered in kale like a sad swamp monster. One time I accidentally used garlic powder instead of cinnamon and cried into my coffee for an hour.

    But I’m down almost 20 lbs, haven’t had a cold since February (which is basically a miracle in Tennessee), and my jeans zip without me having to lay on the bed anymore. Progress? Smoothies for Weight Loss https://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/features/protein-satiety.html

    Anyway if you’re sitting there in your own disaster kitchen, hoodie stained with yesterday’s regrets, just try one. Start with the chocolate peanut butter one. It’s basically a lie you tell your taste buds and they thank you for it.

    Tell me in the comments which one you’re gonna attempt first. I’ll be here blending my feelings and pretending I’m not one bad day away from eating an entire sleeve of Oreos. Love y’all. Or whatever.

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