Okay, easy global faves are the only reason I’m not living on frozen pizza and regret right now. Like, legitimately—last Tuesday I got home at 8 p.m. after sitting in I-95 traffic that smelled like hot brakes and despair, kicked off my shoes in the hallway (they’re still there, don’t judge), and somehow managed to make mapo tofu that didn’t completely suck. That’s the bar we’re working with here, people.
Why Easy Global Faves Are My Emotional Support Recipes Easy Global Faves
Look, I’m a basic white dude from Virginia who grew up thinking “international night” meant Taco Bell. Then I moved to the DC area, started dating someone whose mom is from Sichuan, and suddenly I’m sweating over a $40 jar of doubanjiang at H Mart like it’s normal. But the real glow-up? Figuring out you don’t need to be authentic to be happy. You just need dinner in under 30 minutes that doesn’t taste like sadness. https://omnivorescookbook.com/sichuan-chili-crisp/
Real talk: the first time I tried making proper mapo tofu I cried. Not pretty crying—ugly, snotty, “why is my mouth on fire and why do I like it” crying. Now? I keep a Costco-sized tub of chili crisp in the fridge and call it a day. Here’s my dumb American version:
- Ground pork (or turkey, calm down) Easy Global Faves
- That one tub of Sichuan broad bean paste you panic-bought
- Silken tofu because extra-firm is for cowards
- A truly irresponsible amount of Sichuan peppercorns I ground with a coffee grinder that now smells permanently numb
- Splash of soy sauce, pinch of sugar, cornstarch slurry because I’m lazy
Ten minutes later I’m sitting on the kitchen floor eating it straight from the pot with a spoon because bowls are too much commitment. My tongue goes numb, my soul feels briefly fixed. 10/10. https://www.maangchi.com/recipe/easy-kimchi-fried-rice
Lazy Butter Chicken That Offends Literally No One (Except Purists)
I have a confession that will get me canceled in certain WhatsApp groups: I use grocery-store garam masala and heavy cream and it slaps. Fight me.
- Chicken thighs because breasts are dry and life’s too short
- That jar of masala sauce you bought “for emergencies”
- A stick of butter because therapy is expensive
- Heavy cream I pretend is yogurt to feel better
Sear, dump, simmer while you doomscroll. Serve over rice you definitely over-salted. My Indian friends side-eye me but then ask for seconds, so who’s winning?
Shakshuka When I’m Feeling Dramatic But Still Broke Easy Global Faves
Shakshuka is just eggs in spicy tomato sauce, which means it’s poor people food dressed up for Instagram. I respect it. Also I add way too much cumin and blame it on “personality.” https://www.seriouseats.com/butter-chicken-recipe
Pro tip: use the half-empty jar of harissa that’s been in the fridge since Ramadan 2023. It’s probably fine.
The Gochujang Mayo That Ruined All Other Condiments For Me Easy Global Faves
Not even a full recipe—just mix gochujang, mayo, and a little honey. Put it on everything. Sandwiches. Fries. Your finger at 2 a.m. when you can’t sleep and the fridge light feels like judgment. https://thewoksoflife.com/mapo-tofu-recipe/
Final Thoughts From My Greasy Kitchen at 1:14 a.m. Easy Global Faves
Easy global faves aren’t about getting it “right.” They’re about taking flavors from people who’ve been cooking them for centuries and shamelessly hacking them until they fit your chaotic American life. Sometimes I burn the rice. Sometimes I use ketchup in my kimchi fried rice because I ran out of gochujang and desperation is a spice. And yeah, maybe I’m butchering someone’s grandma’s recipe—but I’m eating vegetables and feeling slightly less dead inside, so I’m calling it a win.
What’s your go-to easy global fave when life’s kicking your butt? Drop it in the comments—I need new ways to disappoint my ancestors. And if you try any of these, tag me. I wanna see your chaos too.
(Also yes I know this post has typos, it’s 1 a.m. and the tofu is calling me back, leave me alone)
