Anyway. Budget-friendly Asian street eats are currently the only thing keeping me alive, no cap. I’m writing this from my couch in Jersey City, still wearing the same hoodie that has a permanent chili oil Rorschach test on the left boob from Saturday night. I tried to scrub it with Dawn and just made it worse. Whatever, battle scar. https://www.mitsuwa.com/nj/
Why These Budget-Friendly Asian Street Eats Own My Entire Personality Right Now
Because rent is a hate crime and Seamless keeps trying to charge me $22 for pad thai that tastes like regret. Meanwhile there’s a cart five blocks away handing me happiness for seven bucks and change. I’m not okay, but my wallet is slightly less crying.
The Gua Bao That Divorced Me From Dignity Budget-Friendly Asian
There’s this Taiwanese dude with a cart outside the laundromat on JFK (yes the laundromat, don’t @ me). His gua bao are $5.50 and illegal levels of good. I inhaled two, went back for a third, and somewhere between bite #2 and #3 the entire thing exploded down my front like a spicy volcano. I just stood there in the parking lot, sauce on my shoes, whispering “worth it” while a grandma judged me from her Corolla. Still thinking about that peanut powder. Send help. https://www.newworldmallny.com/food-court
Dan Dan Noodles That Broke Me Budget-Friendly Asian
Flushing, 1 a.m., some auntie hands me a $8 bowl of dan dan noodles and asks “spicy?” like it’s a personality test. I, an idiot, said “yes.” Thirty seconds later I’m crying actual tears, nose running, texting my group chat “I can’t feel my lips” while shoveling more in my face because the brain tingles are elite. I dropped a noodle on my phone screen and just left it there like a badge of honor. Still spicy in my memory. 10/10 would die again. https://taipeigourmetnj.com/
Takoyaki: Little Fried Lies I Tell Myself Budget-Friendly Asian
Mitsuwa food court, six balls for $7.25. I tell myself “I’ll eat three now, save three for later” and then immediately eat all six while standing in the parking garage because self-control is a myth. Burned my tongue so bad I couldn’t taste anything for two days but kept going back because the bonito flakes dancing is free therapy. https://www.hkmart.us/
Bonus Round: Stinky Tofu (I Have No Excuse) Budget-Friendly Asian
$6. Smells like death wearing sneakers. Tastes like… actually kinda fire?? Crispy outside, creamy inside, sweet-spicy sauce. I ate it on a curb while people crossed-eyed from the smell and a dude walked past and literally gagged. Peak chaotic energy.
My Completely Unhinged Tips (You’re Welcome) Budget-Friendly Asian
- Cash only, half these places think Apple Pay is a scam https://www.seriouseats.com/guide-to-stinky-tofu
- Wear black or just accept you’re gonna look like you lost a fight with a tomato
- If the line is long GET IN IT
- Bring tissues, napkins are a lie
- Don’t attempt “extra spicy” after tequila. Or do. I’m not your mom.
I’m just a gremlin with a $10 bill and a dream at this point. These budget-friendly Asian street eats are out here catching strays (my dignity, my clean clothes, my ability to taste food normally) and I keep going back because I’m broken.
Anyway go try one this weekend. Get messy. Stain something. Text someone “I’m dying but it’s so good.” Report back so I know I’m not alone in this greasy hell alone.
What’s the last cheap eat that wrecked you in the best way? Drop it below I need new places to ruin laundry.
